Day Three

Written on 3/16/2020

What a weird time we are in.  As a generally anxious person, I have created more than my share of disastrous scenarios in my head over the years, but nothing I ever imagined could compare to what is happening in the world right now.  And the entire world is experiencing it.  This virus is affecting the lives of every single person on this planet.

 Certain sets of people are experiencing this situation differently than others.  I can certainly tell you that parents of children with special needs are facing a unique level of challenges, as I’m sure many of you can relate to.  Families of children with special needs typically thrive on routine and our routines have been unbelievably interrupted in the past three days.  We are facing new fears, of illness, of being able to support our children in learning as they would be learning if they were in school, of having to walk away from the supports we all get from our children’s schools, therapies, respite workers, fears of how long we will be living like this and how much worse it will get before it gets better. As I write this, notifications are coming on my phone, letting me know that the US is not prepared for this and we likely won’t have enough medication and supplies to treat people who get sick.  I worry about all of this and then even though my eyelids are so heavy and the fatigue from the day has set in, I force myself to stay awake a little longer, because I still need to get out the green paint, glitter and food dye, so that I can make St.Patrick’s Day special for my kids.  A leprechaun will come in the night and make a mess (that I will have to clean up tomorrow) because I know it will make my kids happy and it will provide them at least some level of normalcy during this absolutely crazy time.   Because that is what we parents are doing right now, trying to make things feel normal. Some of our kids can understand what is happening a little bit, they are being flexible and can be independent at home.  My Iris does not fall into this category. She has had tantrums, crying over changes in routine, isn’t able to understand why she can’t go to school, why I keep making her wash her hands and why my anxiety sky rockets every time she puts her fingers in her mouth (which, by the way, is every minute).  She can’t be left alone for more than a minute or two for fear that she will put something in her mouth.  I am tired, she is tired and this is just the beginning. 

As schools close and we close our doors to our family and friends, sheltering inside, trying to stay healthy, trying to keep others healthy, we are all facing challenges.  Adjusting work schedules, facing possible loss of income, becoming homeschooling parents overnight, worrying about the global impact of disease, worrying about how life is going to change in the upcoming months… My hope is that we can all work together to make it through this absolutely insane time in our lives.